I’m a tote bag girl. Maybe it’s the Mary Poppins nature of being able to pile my whole world inside, maybe it’s a feeling of obligation to use and reuse the many canvas variations I’ve amassed over the years - whatever the lure, I can say with certainty that the best everyday bag for me is a tote of some kind.
So, tell me, why am I slowly but surely becoming more and more smitten with The Row Margaux bag? Colour me influenced, I guess.
While I’m absolutely not about to drop $8000+ on a handbag, the fact that I’ve started to want something I don’t really want is fascinating to pick apart.
It’s possible I think about clothes too much. I’ll be the first to admit it. I consider who made my clothes, where and in what conditions. I’m conscious of textiles and their impact on the environment at each stage of production. I read the books and listen to the podcasts that pull back the curtain and give a real raw look at the fashion industry. And at the same time, I go round and round contemplating my personal style. I get in my head about what I like and why I like it. I pick apart how my taste is being formed and whether the inputs and influences are good ones, or not.
The tension of caring deeply about the various impacts of the fashion industry and wanting to enjoy clothes and style without feeling guilty is a tricky line to walk. What does it look like to champion the good guys and call out the bad guys while also acknowledging that it’s not as black and white as ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’ - it’s far more layered and complex than that. I want to play dress up, but condemn over consumption, but also encourage progress over perfection.
I want to be a tote bag girl, but now, somehow, I also want The Row Margaux bag.
I love TikTok for its endless inspiration. It’s my number one resource for finding creative, clever people who put together outfits that make me feel something. Even if what they’re wearing sits way outside my own style or comfort zone, I appreciate the process and how they seem to celebrate all the good bits of fashion.
The part of TikTok I don’t love so much, is the endless pull to feel dissatisfied with my already-overflowing wardrobe. Inevitably, hauls and try-ons conjure up a feeling of lack. The lines blur between want and need and before I know it, I’ve decided my own wardrobe is insufficient because I don’t own [insert extensively long list of things missing from my wardrobe].
It seems impossible to separate style from commerce. Despite knowing better, I’ve often felt that my wardrobe is just a few purchases away from feeling complete. I don’t think you can buy your way to personal style, not really. Personal style isn’t buying the stuff you see other people wearing online. Is it? Surely not. The people I find myself most inspired by have a thoughtful approach. They aren’t trying to sell me a product, they’re selling the confidence to wear what you want, how you want it. That’s something I haven’t quite mastered yet.
Sifting through clean girls and mob wives and coastal grandmas to figure out what resonates and feels most like me, it starts to feel like my style is being dictated to me by the people I watch. It’s noisy out there.
Am I overthinking it?
Oh, absolutely.
Should I just wear whatever the heck I want?
YES!
Go on then…
How?!?!? Where do I start? What are my three style words, and colours, and HOW?!
Ah, the aforementioned overthinking.
I don’t have a nice neat bow to end this with. There’s no silver bullet I know of that will help me and you and all the other people who’ve ever asked these same questions to determine once and for all our personal style. For now, I’m a style rookie. A work in progress with a keen curiosity and a desire to learn and play.
Stay tuned for more musings and to see if this 30 year old can finally find her personal style, in a slow, steady, mindful way.
*All the style gals who featured in my collage:
Ariel Kellogg
Heather Hurst
Marj Moore
Vic Montanari
Monikh Dale
Anna Newton
Jenny Welbourn
Sophia Dowling
Mya Hansel
Beth Jones
The Undone Store
Loved this read, can’t wait for more. Personally I think you have great personal style! I overthink my style every 6-12 months and feel I need to fit into the aesthetic groups on tiktok as well, but i always come back to what feels right. Tiktok is great but also the cause of a lot of headnoise 😂